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Saturday August 05 13
Sunday August 06

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I'm writing tonight after a long week's absence from this diary.  This week has been a major turning point on many levels, for many people.

Those who make it through the eye of this needle will be stronger.  

* * *

Sitting at Curt's this morning followed by a refreshing breakfast with Tobin and Curt. These two guys are brothers; we have seen so much over the past 14 years, traveled across the US and Europe together many times, and now working and playing together in Seattle.  Rather surreal when I really think through the diverse scenarios that led to our being here together today.

* * *

Saw X-Men with Tobin following breakfast -- a much needed retreat from one surreal world of last week into a different surreal world of beings with comic book powers and power struggles.  Call me sappy -- I thought it was great, and perfect for my current mood.

Dropped Tobin off, then headed home to putter around in the back yard sun.   Went to Barnes and Nobel and bought some books for inspiration, guidance, and afternoon reading.  

Then home to a peaceful nap followed by and hour of returning necessary phone calls.  Great to speak with JudyN this afternoon.  She continues to be a source of great strength for me.   She is an excellent Yoda. 

* * *

Peter Gabriel's OVO continues to haunt my CD player, over and over, both at home and in the car.   Downside-Up has been the soundtrack to my life this past week:  

I looked up at the tallest building.
Felt it falling down.
I could feel my balance shifting.
Everything was moving around.
These streets so fixed and solid.  
Ah shimmering haze.
And everything that I relied on, disappeared.

Downside up, upside down
take my weight from the ground
falling deep in the sky
slipping into the unknown

All the strangers look like family
all the family look so strange
The only constant I am sure of 
is this accelerating rate of change.

Downside up, upside down
take my weight from the ground
falling deep in the sky
slipping into the unknown

I stand here, watch you spinning
until I am drawn in, a centripetal force,
you pull me in.  Pull me in.  Pull me in. 

ovo

Downside up, upside down
take my weight from the ground
falling deep in the sky
slipping into the unknown

I bought four copies of OVO last weekend (import only, yeeeouch -- thanks JoelB for the discount!) and have so far given away three of them.  

* * *

Gave a copy of OVO to J. last week, then (and still) a familiar stranger who also continues to intrigue me and and haunt my sub-conscious -- I should not say this outloud, but why not: I keep feeling like something is drawing us together (and I don't simply mean hormones...)  I acted on this something this evening, and made an invitation.  Trusting my intuition at the risk of looking like a complete fool.   Nothing to lose, except perhaps an opportunity.

Trusting.     

* * *

Excerpts from some reading this evening:

"This is not a corporate history.  It is a history of a deeply human struggle over ideas, values, and hopes for which men and women were willing to give themselves over, values at times so evanescent that some people could dismiss them as silly, values so deep that others became students of them, dedicated their careers to making them come alive, became enraged and embittered when they seemed to be violated, and turned poetic and inspired in their defense.  This is what is impressive about the name 'Disney': no one is neutral....    Walt Disney was a genius or a charlatan, a hypocrite or an exemplar, a snake-oil salesman or a beloved father figure to generations of children."  

- Prince of the Magic Kingdom : Michael Eisner and the Re-Making of Disney  

I have so much to learn about business.  15+ years of working in groups, and I'm still scratching the surface. 

* * *

Now, Jonatha Brooke accompanies this writing.  This music transmits hope.   To sleep this evening with a glimpse of hope. 

* * *

* * *

we shall not cease from exploration
and the end of all our exploring
will be to arrive where we started
and know the place for the first time

- t.s. eliot, four quartets

* * *

Catching up on this past week:

Dream 8/1/00
I am driving a huge fire engine up a steep, unpaved mountain, there are people at the top of the mountain, standing around socializing at sunset. I get to the top, and begin to turn the giant truck around in a very small parking area where people are milling about. I begin to turn around (very tight, no space, and no one is moving to accomodate the manouver) -- I am afraid I am going to run over the people at the top, but they don't seem to notice or care that I need to turn the trunk around. I see DavidLV with his kids (4 kids and wife) walking away -- he had just been talking to JohnL and he was beginning to walk down the mountain; I got out of the truck and ran after him to say hello. His kids were running wildly around his legs -- and he said hello. I welcomed him back, and he said something about not being available anymore for friday meetings (because of his kids.) 

Then I woke up.

* * *

"Music creates order out of chaos; for rhythm imposes unanimity upon the divergent, melody imposes continuity upon the disjointed, and harmony imposes compatibility upon the incongruous." 
-- Yehudi Menuhin

* * *

Messages from RF, GM, JL, DS, TM, and my sister on my voice mail this evening - my phone was turned off all afternoon and evening!  WOW!  

RF had major trouble with United getting home.  Seems that across the board, everything requires extra effort right now.    

* * *

Reaching new level of clarity and professionalism this evening.  Some great reading with the books I bought yesterday.  This process is not a game or an intellectual exercise in morality, equity, or and fairness.  This transition involves one primary aim:   honoring and acting on necessity.

* * *

12:54am, time to sleep.   Can't stop thinking about JJ and Cocteau Twins.  Not sure why or what, but something powerful going on behind the scenes here.   

Trusting it.    

* * *