At-A-Distance
Course Diary 1999 back |
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Week1 | Week2 | Week3 | Week4 | Week5 | Week6 Sunday November 7th A day off from AAD activities. No sitting and no guitar work today. And yet, hardly a day "off." Laundry and cleaning in the morning (two tasks which I actually find strangely relaxing) and photoshop work in the afternoon. I spent most of the day in web-mode working on multiple "specs" as they are called in the PM (program management) business. A spec is a piece of paper that is a map to the future. It is a specific snapshot describing what will be done. Good specs are based in reality and reflect experience combined with a clearly articulated vision of what could be, but is not yet. Bad specs are based in idealism about things that could be but won't because neither the problems nor the solutions are well-defined or practically achievable. A good spec is an engineering document, a blueprint for getting from A to Z. There is a classic joke about bad specs:
Writing a good spec implies that I know:
A good spec is also useless unless it comes with batteries included. That is, for the vision described in the spec to be realized, there must be someone in the role of "champion"- - this is the person who "owns" the spec, understands the vision, and has the power to close loops and steer through the inevitable points where the process will naturally tend to break down. * * * On January 2nd, 1999, I presented a "bad spec" to the Seattle Guitar Circle extended team regarding our work for the year 1999. Eleven months later, much of what was outlined in this spec has actually been completed, despite the fact that we (as a group) completely ignored this document in our day to day, week to week, month to month tasks throughout the year. Of course, some of what was described in this document has not been accomplished. But, eleven months later, I'm amazed at what has been accomplished. This, now infamous, January 2nd 'spec' described a vision with an outline of necessary and possible tasks for a successful year of audience-building in the Seattle area. This spec was "bad" in that it did not transmit the vision in a way that motivated the people who would have had to do the work to realize the vision. The interesting thing I see from this process: much of this work has occurred anyway without the guidance and regulation of the original spec. For example, on Friday, Curt went to pick up the newly mass-produced 2nd-run copies of "Twilight," the SGC CD which, at the beginning of the year, was just an idea on a piece of paper. Like many engineers, I earn my living by observing what is, envisioning what could be, and translating this into what will be. The process of making an idea real is as much an art as it is a science. And it takes tons of hard work. * * * I had dinner with Steven Rhodes in downtown Bellevue this evening - discussing some audio-related BTV ideas. Then, I went back to work on specs which define work that may engage the next 3-33 months of my life. What an exciting time to be alive. Perhaps this is why I can't/don't sleep as much as I should...? * * *
Monday November 8th It is fall in Seattle, and I am in high "pelota" gear. I was up early considering how late I was up the last night. It is now 2:45 and I'm still up. Can you say: Stooo-pid? So much to say, so little energy. A fun SGC rehearsal this evening. Dean is the official note taker this month, so I am going to take the night off from describing our glorious and glamorous lives (not) as rehearsing musicians. I also received a surprising and sad letter today from one of my best friends from high-school, actually, she was my high-school sweetheart -- she is currently going through a painful divorce. As a result, she is having her own major Oi-2K crisis (one income, two kids.) I need to write her back... but when? How about next year? She is a musician (opera singer.) I gave her an "electric gauchos" CD when I saw her a few months ago, and she sent a funny poem in her letter today about her experience with this oddly powerful and immensely non-danceable music. I reprint her poem here tomorrow when I have more energy... A few women from my recent and not so recent past have been reaching out and contacting me lately. Some of them apparently even read this diary... And yet, I feel unable to respond. Is it just that my days and nights are already packed full of 'spec' work? Perhaps,... or... What am I avoiding? * * * Tuesday November 9th Yikes - another 2:20am morning... following another night full of specs and prep for major meetings this week. In addition, David Singleton is coming back to Seattle on Thursday to enable the next phase of BTV. And I am pushing toward many seemingly simultaneous deadlines. Fall is the time for harvest; the crop this year is abundant. Good news from Jaxie tonight - Peter Dervin and the KSER board said yes to the February shows! But on to more important matters: Bridget's poem, with a small bit of context! Excerpts from her letter:
Well, there's more, but that's enough- - Bridget is very articulate and a musician by nature -- her analysis and observations, while tempered by a lifetime of 4/4 operatic soprano singing, are insightful and unbiased. << Please do some more things together >> I would love to. Stay tuned: 2002 Electric Gauchos reunion tour! In the meantime, Christian arrives on Thanksgiving, just in time for dinner, Ferny is married and in Buenos Aires, Martin is moving back to Berlin, and Fernando Samalea is in Spain. Bill Rieflin is here, but he is also busy these days being a music business man. Reunion 2000? Highly unlikely. But 'Electric Gauchos' continues to be the most musically satisfying group I have ever played with... power + subtetly. Crunchy outside, creamy filling. I can't eat just one. * * * I sacrificed a recording preparation rehearsal with Brock, Curt, and Bob this evening to have some personal practice time, and I'm very happy I did. Practice is my filter that clears out all the clouds, crud, complexity and confusion that builds up during the day. Despite the intensity of my day, I'm feeling clear and clean tonight. Quiet C's. Speaking of 'si' - It's after midnight. Happy Birthday Valentina! * * * Wednesday November 10th AAD failure this morning: sleep instead of sitting!! Do I regret this? Yes and no. But I am not going to get stuck and lose more energy than I might have gained (had I pulled my bony butt out of bed to do my sitting) by debating this. Even taking the time to write about it here is probably more than is necessary to pay the price for this (on top of the cash I now owe...) A somewhat disturbing fax was waiting for me this morning demanding a long list of birthday presents be sent immediately to Argentina. Was this a death threat via cartoon from the southern hemisphere? Perhaps. Did I respond? No. Once again, I have failed miserably in the 'make everyone happy department.' This is just one of many failings in this department lately. Why does this feel like it never gets any easier. Maybe it's my number nine type? Themes for this period: Ballistic. Local. Immobile. I am gearing up for the next two weeks. Part of this process involves increasing focus on the local and the near-term present: what is necessary today to prepare for tomorrow? Where are the inefficiencies in my day? Where can I squeeze in another 10 minutes here to save me 20 tomorrow? What are my real priorities for the next half hour and how do they fit in with the next seven weeks? In this mode, my attention is on the minutes. The hours seem to take care of themselves. * * * Among the 143 emails which arrived in my box while I was visiting seattle game developers today, I managed to skim one from my good friend Travis Hartnett (an apple computer employee from Austin, Texas.) Travis' recent emails have had me laughing out loud: insightful and ironic, and generally dead on accurate. Later this week, (with his permission) I hope to reprint some of our email exchanges in these pages. Also, a delicious and useful email today from Bill Rieflin regarding the potential political incorrectness of David Singleton's early BTV designs. Bill's mail closed with the most excellent salutation I have ever read in an email: "please feel free to tell me to fuck off if you disagree." * * * Almost everyone at SGC rehearsal this evening was in a 'mood' - I did not get the sense that there was great enthusiasm in the room; it was a night to work, regardless of how we felt. Despite our general "this feels like work" vibe, there were some remarkably bright moments: the middle section of (named after the look on Jaxie's face) "mood spoed" was really cooking. The Ab circulation had a life of it's own. Personally, I felt like total crap most of the evening - still do. Subliminal depression about not being able to find 5 minutes to pick up the phone and call Valentina to wish her a happy birthday? (my cell phone does not permit calls to argentina - too much phone fraud to the 54 code... VoiceSream policy.) Subliminal depression about the massive amount of work just ahead of me? Subliminal depression about the DOJ bullshit? I doubt it... But never rule out the obvious: how about un-subliminal physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion. Now we're talking. So, why not take my own smarty-pants advice from my own instruction manual: know when to turn off the light and go to sleep. Ok. * * * Thursday November 11th Another journeyman's day with very little glory, gratification, glamour, or moment for rest. Today was a blur of meetings, problem solving sessions, occasional brainstorms, reliable brain-farts, combined with an unusual quantity of dancing around the human politics at the supposedly-evil empire of MS. One of the benefits of this diary writing process is the increased sense of continuity that comes from regular reflection across two time frames:
These may seem like obvious questions, but how many times do I really ask, answer, and let the answers impact and influence my actions of the next day? In Guitar Craft terms, work with these kinds of questions questions can sometimes lead to an experience of an 'expanded present moment,' -- this is is a state when the world I am in changes: I can see and sense 'now' more as a line with length and continuity and direction rather than as an isolated point in time. When two of these 'now' points line up over time, it creates a vector with a distinct direction. When more than two points line up, it creates a rhythm and a contour. When an entire line segment (made up of an infinite number of points) shows up, heads explode, and lives change: in one moment, I know where I have been, I know where I am, and I know where I am going. I could attempt some more lame analogies, but no point in this. One failed, verbose, analogy is enough for tonight. * * * Another, perhaps more practical, spin on this idea: besides the 'eurest' food residue that is settling gently into the mass of jello just above my waistline, what will I take with me from today into tomorrow? My primary answers for today: A new melody for the E-bass line. A long list of tasks to accomplish over the weekend. A list of people to telephone in the morning before I go to work:
A wish for a long vacation of 16-hour days of practice and work with music. * * * At 1:29am, it's raining outside, and there is a cool breeze coming in the window next to my computer. My feet are flat on the ground, and I just realized my shoulders were rising up toward my ears as I type this. I also suddenly realize as I am writing this, that I have no idea who may or may not be reading this... this feels somewhat like playing in front of an unlit audience - without seeing the faces, it's difficult to know how the show is going. The interesting thing I see in this: I'm not sure it matters. And when I go deeper with this question, I'm not concerned with how this writing is affecting those who may find themselves in the unfortunate position of waiting 74 seconds to download and read this now 129K file. The danger in flying blind like this is the increased potential for the proliferation of useless self-absorption (which leaves nothing juicy for any one else to absorb.) The benefit of this 'audience blindness' is that I can tell the truth and avoid some of the residual 'Zelig' effects which might otherwise occur if I were censoring the general brutal and egotistical ugliness of my inner thoughts as they pour from the stumps at the end of my arms onto this black ascii chalkboard. * * * Dinner with David Singleton tonight. We discussed an outline of our current work and plans for the next 10 days. It's make or break time for BTV. If this idea has legs, it is going to sprout them this week and go for a long run. Diane will be on her way to Seattle next week after a few days at "web noise" in LA, essentially, a schooze-fest for everyone and their dog working on internet music projects. The apparent bad news: everyone and their dog and the cousin of their dog is working on internet music projects. Then again, not everyone or their dog has immediate legal access to 384 King Crimson bootlegs... * * * Back to sine waves: I go through periods where I feel that technology is enabling amazing possibilities for music, musicians, and listeners. When I drink the kool-aid, I know in my heart that DirectMusic is going to forever change the way musicians create and compose music, and that non-linear playback is going to forever change the way people listen to and hear music. Then there are days when all I want to do is get in a room with acoustic guitarists and interact with human musicians. No pixels or time-consuming qwerty translations. No wading through thousands of minute digital decisions. No "chord.wav" error notifications reminding me that the next ten years will be even more revolutionary and profitable then the past ten. Just get me in a room (with great acoustics) and leave me and my fingers to connect the dots. * * * Friday November 12th Whew. Finally Friday. Sigh-day. My body is tired. The size of the dark bags under my eyes tells me that tomorrow is a day to sleep in. My hyper-spastic-make-it-happen-schmooze-o-rama idea machine desperately needs to shut down and take in some horizontalness. See what severe sleep deprivation does to grammar? * * * For the record, I only made it through half of my calls this morning. The drive to and from work has lately been prime car-office time. It's really been the only way for me to stay on top of necessary communications. I'm using a hands-free mic which probably sounds like speakerphone-crap for the unfortunate ears on the other end of these calls. But cell phone antennas cause brain cancer. Today, I believe most people consider this to be an unproven myth. In ten years, this will be scientifically-validated common knowledge. Today, I choose to save that little section of brain just behind my ear from cell-toasting at the expense of potential annoyance of those who need to speak to me. * * * David Singleton and I had dinner this evening with the Music Editor of the Seattle Weekly (Richard Martin) and his friend Christie. The purpose of our dinner interview was a discussion of new music start-ups (and technologies) that have the potential to alter the way people listen to music. Some fascinating discussions and digressions. Far too much to relay here at 1:32am. Right this very second, I would be more interested in discussing the creation of a device that can convert my thoughts directly into ascii sans keyboard. * * * After dinner, David and I went to Sit-n-Spin to see Bill Rieflin and Fred Chalenor play in "Land." I saw my old pal Michael (Sit-n-Spin owner and longtime Gauchos and SB fan) and gave him a copy of 'greenthumb.' Then onto Land. Their all-instrumental ambient-noise-jazz-punk set combined with my extreme exhaustion led me through a series of largely useless associations... but at one point during their second to last song, one simple thought landed and stuck in my brain like a fortune cookie delivered from God's Szechwan Idea Palace: 'you have everything you need at your fingertips' * * * In three minutes, everything I need (a pillow) will be at my fingertips.
* * * Saturday November 13th Sleeping in until 10am --- whoopeee! A productive afternoon of BTV meetings with David Singleton, Steve Enstad, Steven Rhodes, and Curt Golden. But the highlight of my morning: some email exchanges with Travis Hartnett. Best to simply reprint these verbatim:
And my response: Hi Travis! Every thing and every person has value, immense value, even if we are unable to perceive it. Whether this particular person or this particular thing has
liquid capital value depends upon the conditions of the local 'economy.' If my personal local economy is bankrupt or if I am in 'poverty', then perceived value of even my own actions (or work, or music, or human interaction) may seem to be low or non-existent. But this is subjective. * * * And Travis' response:
* * * The Seattle Guitar Circle played another heart-stopping show tonight at Mr. Spots with special guest: Peter Kardas! We began the show prompty at 8:00 and our first set felt good, but the audience was sparse (mostly our own close friends including Brock, Heather, and Clement Pytel...) During this first set, I was happy that I had persuaded David Singleton to spend a quiet evening in his hotel room... It looked like were were going to be playing a dud show to no audience... But something remarkable began to happen as we came to the middle of our first set... people started pouring in the door. And not just people coming in for Chai - the music was drawing them in. After our first set, Peter and Curt played a middle set of Peter's delightful songs and covers, and by the end of their set, the place had filled up with attentive people who had come to hear the music. Something remarkable had changed in the audience, and perhaps as a result, something remarkable changed in our show. We began our second set, and I had a flash back to Cle Elem - these people were really listening. These people were really getting it. Something in their act of listening enabled us to take off and fly (in spite of some dramatic stumbles during 'cultivating the beat.') Bob's solos, in particular, were stunning this evening. Our dynamics came to life. The circulations danced around the circle with their own phrasing, stories, and intent. The 'cloud of unknowing' in Trapiche knew something. For some reason, we were also selling CDs to strangers without really trying very hard - this is a good sign. People moved enough by what they hear to pull out their wallets... There were some familiar faces in the audience. Our old friend, Matthew Henry, showed up sometime after the first set and gave me an SM58 mic (for no apparent reason, except that he is a huge fan and he said he has no further use for it and that I was his favorite singer...) I gave him a 'greenthumb' CD and and 'twilight' CD --- hardly an equitable exchange - thanks again Matthew for your support. Matthew now has a free lifetime supply of SB recordings. I also managed to find a CD-R in my car of 'hollow' and some of the other rough mixes of the (sb-curt golden-brock pytel-steven rhodes) rock band. I gave this to him and it made Matthew very happy. There was also another extremely familiar face in the audience, but I could not quite place where I had seen her before. After we completed our 2nd set, we decided to take a short break and then repeat our first set since most of it had been played before this audience had arrived. During the break, I spoke to this mystery woman (Janice) and discovered she had been the person in Cle Elem wearing the "honor necessity" t-shirt. She had checked the SC web site and come in to Mr. Spots to find us. Wow - fans are now traveling across the state to check out even our small shows... Something is going on here. * * * By the end of our second set, I was disappointed that David Singleton was not in the audience... Before a show, I can never ever tell how it's going to go. It's always a mystery. Will anyone show up? Will the sound be okay? Will we play well? Will the music flow? Will it suck? Will it change anything? Is it worth all the effort? Once again, the show tonight generated far more energy than it cost us. This is another important step toward sustainability within this often grueling, often discouraging process. * * * For years, I have been telling my Crafty friends from around the globe that 'something is going on in Seattle,... come check it out.' Many who have come to check it out have stayed. I suspect the real 'thing' that is going on in Seattle is that people are coming to visit and staying. Over time, our work together is beginning to bear fruit. For the record, it is now confirmed by independent third party sources:
Come check it out. * * * Please visit the seattle guitar circle site for more information about this project.
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