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Monday April 24 
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Monday April 24

SGC Rehearsal called short for me this evening due to a late night meeting of the minds.   Nice to see Bob, Jax, Curt, and Dean in one place at one time.  Seems like three years have passed since our last rehearsal.  Okay, ten days, three web years.   We ran through our set for the CGT show on Saturday evening before I excused myself. 

I felt terrible about leaving, but duty called with a loud and authoritative voice.  

* * *

The highlight of my day: Brock stopped by the office to drop off copies of his new CD, Second Choice.   Now on heavy rotation in my car, this my new favorite CD, above and beyond Elliott Smith, NIN, and my other recent purchases.  

* * *

Tuesday April 25

I awoke somewhat sleep-deprived this morning after the late night meeting last night.   Seems that busy people can only seem to get together after 10pm or before 8am.   

I know.   What else is new.  Yawn.

* * * 

Seems that any detailed observations or subjective interpretations have gone without documentation in these pages for quite some time.  It is clear that I must be extremely careful about how, when, and where I speak about my daily activities and stresses given the responsibilities I now carry.    

So does this really explain the yawnfest in this diary?

And was this not true before I took on my current role?  Perhaps, but the stakes are somehow higher now.  

The strange twist about this process: I never really know who is reading this drivel.   Karen?  Former girlfriends, distant acquaintances, disgruntled and/or potentially-psychotic  employees, former band-mates, potential employees, family, current VCs?

I know my current band-mates certainly and regularly check out what is pouring into these pages.  In most cases, my impression is that reading each other's diaries has been extremely useful.   It is a means of communication which seems to save us time guessing what is going on in a public view of what might otherwise be a private part of each of our lives. 

But there is a safety net here: we already generally know, love, and trust each other.   And we seem to be getting better at forgiving each other in real time for being the idiots that we each are in our own special way. 

* * *

I spoke to my old friend TR on the phone this afternoon -- he seems to have landed in a good place back in the borg.  Congrats, T.

* * *

Still owe my Mom a return call from Easter.  Why this procrastination?  

This evening: practice.  At home.  Alone.   

Blessed, reverberant room.   

* * *

I can't find my copy of my Helen Palmer Enneagram book - perhaps TravisH has this?  Or did BillR return it?   

* * *

Wednesday April 26

SGC rehearsal, electric, downtown this evening.   A run through for our show tomorrow night at the Still Life cafe in Freemont.   If this rehearsal was any indication, tomorrow evening is going to be a great show.   

SGC rehearsal, electric, downtown this evening.   A run through for our show tomorrow night at the Still Life cafe in Freemont.   If this rehearsal was any indication, tomorrow evening is going to be a great show.   

Musicians know what that means about the rehearsal.

* * *

----- Original Message ----- 
From: Tiktok 
To: Steve Ball 
Sent: Tuesday, April 25, 2000 11:40 PM
Subject: Want some cheese with that whine?

1) Yes, I've got your Enneagram book. I thought it was a cult requirement that I absorb it. I'll bring it to work tomorrow. Sorry.

2) Your diary was always a yawnfest, there's just less of it now.
 P.S. Stop calling me potentially psychotic. The dog next door warned me about you.

* * *

Curt's birthday today.  We had lunch together, yet I had no idea it was his birthday or I would have bought his crappy sandwich for him.   Instead, I found out late in the day, and brought crappy cupcakes and 1% milk to rehearsal for our break.  Jax brought one candle and matches, we sang, Curt made a wish, and blew.  Dean assumed that he knew what Curt's wish was, and we all laughed, ha ha ha ha ha...  wink to Jax.

* * *

11:36pm, I am so tired.  

* * *

Thursday  April 27

First SGC show this evening at the Still Life Cafe in Freemont.   Nice audience, and a good show, as predicted by last night's so-so rehearsal.  We made some new friends this evening. 

* * *

Surprise guest, David Singleton made it to the Cafe just off of a plane from New York to catch the second half of our show.  

* * * 

More surprise guests, Karen and Dave dropped into the Cafe just after the show -- a nice coincidence.  And an appropriate ice-breaker.  It was good to see them together, and I felt a new level of comfort, even release, somehow knowing that Karen is in good hands.  I can't believe I'm writing this.  A part of me is still really really sad, and yet, somehow this seems like a good resolution.  I'm confused by my own feelings around the whole thing, but what else is new.

Still, it was good to see them together.

* * *

A day of much activity on many fronts.  Huge strides being made in the office.   Each day, one step closer in this process of evolution which is unfolding around us.   Minute by minute, the pace seems glacial, but overall, it is amazing how far we've come in such a short time.   And the tasks in front of us are still huge and growing larger by the day..

* * *

Friday April 28

Another turning point today.  We have already outgrown our office space, and signs of crampage are beginning to creep in.   

The highlight of my day: a call from JaneS at 7pm and a long catch-up since her last visit to Seattle.  Tapes on the way, as she is busy in the studio singing multi-voice harmonies about the land of Shenandoah.

Better yet, she is going to share some of this with the world via BTV.  

* * *

For some strange reason, I have run out of energy for the day.  I'm too exhausted to even wait for three minutes to connect to post this.   It will have to wait until morning.  I feel like I've been hit by a truck.  Time to sleep at 9:30pm...

* * *

Saturday April 29

1:00am - home from a long and satisfying day of BTV action.   This just in:  Poor Curt got the call and had to run out to the BTV office a few minutes ago - the alarm went off... 

* * *

Where to begin?

Met DavidS at the office, then we went off to the airport together to fetch PatriciaF for lunch and a day of BTV excitement.    Post-lunch, we spent the afternoon in a focus group with some excellent guests from around the country who made a daring trip to visit BTV.

Some fascinating conversation flowing from this diverse family.  Introductions led brilliantly by JoyceT.  Then, after a couple of hours of confidential conversations, Paul, Bert, Hidi, and TonyL came over to the office with SteveO for a quick snapshot of BTV presented by DavidS and myself.   

Wow.  What a circle.  

Then, off to the show at the King Cat Theatre.

* * *

How to describe this show?    

The SGC set was rough from where I was sitting (no high end, no subtlety, but some nice moments, for sure...)   Bob's solo on Maryan gave me a few chills.   Jax looked great, as usual.  And the intro to Trapiche had some spine-tingling moments.  Overall, an honorable set, and we made some new friends.

TravisH, as usual, was a total hero to the SGC, and made my own personal SGC logistics experience completely bearable.   The existence of TravisH is the only reason I would ever agree that cloning might be an ethical endeavor. 

* * *

Then, TonyL and the CGT hit the stage and took my heart on a great adventure.  Hearing 'discipline' from these friends and family had me blissfully rocking in my seat while in touch with my musical roots in Carbondale 19 years ago.  Nice to see these brothers continuing to rocket upwards, into the musical stratosphere. 

It was strange, and yet somehow right, to sit next to my ex-wife Karen (who was also sitting next to her new fiance, Dave) for this show as well.  I can't explain it, but something has changed -- I've somehow let her go, and I somehow feel free to come back to her as a friend.   I probably should not be saying this here, but those who know me, know that I sometimes (often?) speak from my inner voice more than might be advisable from a sane persons mouth...    oh well.   Nothing to hide here tonight.

The audience and the musicians were all in the family this evening -- so many familiar faces in the crowd: FrankS, IngridP, PeterK, JeanetteR, StephenG, GregS, ChrisG, Brock and Heather (blew them a kiss from a distance), PeterW, WalterS, DonM, TobinB, SteveE, TravisM, (and almost all of the BTV staff), BobH, EmilyG, and many many other familiar faces.   

And TomR and PatriciaF as a merch team: yikes -- second to none!

JoyceT also had a chance to strut her stuff after the show, and she got some excellent TonyL interview material on camera with Alex.  I have a very real sense that this BTV thing is beginning to take off and fly.   

Overall, I am intensely proud of the BTV team and the extended SGC family for growing up to support such an incredible body of music, musicians, and audience.   

We've come a long, long way since the first SGC meetings (with Karen, BillVB, BillR, SB, and PeterK) in BillVBs basement in 1993.  

Wow.  Music process.  Fascinating to watch it unfold over this past decade +.  

What a privileged seat I have been given.   Counting my blessings this evening.  

Many.   Many.   Many.  

* * *

Sunday April 30

Coffee with the power trio including DavidS and PatriciaF at 10:30 at their ultra-adequate residential hotel.  Then off to the office for what turned out to be a defining meeting in the history of BTV. Patricia led BTV staff though a four hour process of discovery, collaboration, and exploration.  

The end result: some accurate and shared messaging about who we are, what we are doing, and why we are doing it.   A remarkable process led by Fripp, the sister.

* * *

Then, Cyclops dinner (suggested by Violet! Yeah!) with PF and DS followed by an unrelated evening meeting at the airport, first in the wrong Red Carpet Club.  Then transplanted into another Exec Club, different terminal.  A productive meeting, although some diligence to be done.

* * *

Then back to the office at 10pm with DavidS for a recap on the weekend and a pre-cap for the week ahead.  Home early at 11:38pm.   Meeting at 8am.   

A massively important week ahead.   I need a day off.

* * *